Love to my mom

Before I had Luke, I couldn't bear the thought of celebrating Mother's Day without my mom. It was too painful, so I tried my best to ignore it. But now that I'm a mom and close to having the beautiful experience of welcoming another new life into our lives and watching my sister do the same, I have worked hard to shift my thoughts on this day from sadness to being so incredibly thankful for all my mom gave to me.

I wish more than anything that I could thank her in person and tell her how grateful I am for all that she did for me. And since I can't send her flowers, or call her up on the phone or write her a letter she'd receive as I'd love to do, I feel that much more of a responsibility to live a good life for her, to be a good mom for her, and to teach my children all the beautiful things she taught me and my siblings.... to be a kind person, to spend time together as a family, the importance of friendship, to respect nature, to slow down, the art of the handwritten note, to be an adventurer!, to yearn to learn, to be a good listener, to reach out to those in need, to give so much even when you are in so much pain. She was a giver of so many things. 

I came across this lovely Sophia Loren quote, "When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." How true this is, how sweet it is, and how thankful I am for my mom - she gave her heart and soul to give me, my sister, and brother our wings. 25 years of a life with such a beautiful person inside and out means more than 1000 years with anything less. And while it does not take away the pain and sadness I feel every day without her in my life, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude for all she taught me, and take comfort in knowing that she lives on in me, my brother and sister, and our children. 

Door County, WI, me and my mom, pregnant with my sister 1979

The mid-years (always chic she was, while we kids embraced bad fashion trends), 

Dad behind the camera as usual

I started believing in angels on May 28, 2003, and I know my angel mom is smiling upon us and this little one, who will join us soon! I think she decided that May is to be renewed as a month of celebration of new life - by blessing us with two little lives and reminding us of the beautiful gift she and my dad were given of my brother on May 11, 1982.

Thank you to my two sweet boys for giving me a special Mother's Day today (complete with a celeb spotting of Robert Duvall at a coffee shop in Middleburg). xx

Mother's Day 2011, yours truly behind the camera, post Duvall spotting

Daddy behind the camera

And, the light of our lives, with a splash of little devil